My thought of the day

My thought of the day:
*September* 23, 2004	And so life goes on... Here's my fortune from the Chinese restaurant, where we ate lunch today:
*August* 11, 2004	*Taking steps toward the future*... Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. -John Lennon Day 3 of 40...and counting. I should be working... what am I doing typing? Hell, I don't know; venting maybe. Pondering life, I guess, and what it's about. One thing's for sure. I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I found my guiding light, my π (Pi), the thing that is always there, supportive, unconditional, constant, in addition to caring, loving and nurturing. My soul-mate. Every now and again... you have to stop and thank life and the mysterious ways it works, even though you can't figure it out.
July 14, 2004	And so life goes on... What we once thought was secure at hand, now taken away as a tease. Like the chase after the carrot dangling before me, life goes on... Oh how I misjudged fortune. What once was my destiny now unattainable, perhaps!? But they say... all things happen for a reason. What the reason is... remains a mystery!
*July 9, 2004*	*The Never Ending School of Life* Every step I take, I hit a wall. Every time I try to stand up, I get knocked down. I've worked so hard to get this far. Why can I not just finish it off? Why must things go as they have? They say that you have to live through hardship to appreciate what you have... maybe this will make me appreciate everything more? What a price to pay! They say "that which does not break you, makes you stronger". Maybe this will make me stronger. Who are they? Do they really know what they are talking about?! We'll know in a few months.
*November 5, 2002*	*Time of Death* The dying gasps of air... Gasping, hurting, struggling for that last breath. Will that be the last? His back arching, his shoulders flexing, his thick black lips opening his mouth wide. No. One more, then another. In a last attempt to keep the heart beating, to keep oxygen going to his brain. Another grunt and gasp. Opening his mouth wide, hanging on... As this family of 20 looks on to the last dozen or so breaths Mr. N. takes. What everyone thought would be only a few minutes turns into 15 and then 30 minutes. A few breaths turned into a dozen and that dozen into more and more. A dragged out pain, an extended hurt, and a false glimpse of hope, as he hangs on to life, for a bit longer, like a man on the edge of a cliff hanging on by his nails, which slowly but sure are getting ripped off and bloodied, leaving their marks however on the edge of the cliff... Like the marks on the cliff, the family suffered as he hung on. Slowly, but surely and deeply, seeing their loved one hanging on, not letting go, not ceasing to breathe, like the doctors said he would... The family gathers around him, waiting, waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting for him to die. Some have tears in their eye. Some have tears in their hearts. Others just can't wait anymore, and leave. A few more breaths... Silence! So powerful, it drowned out the background noise of monitors, nurses, and everyone else in the ICU. Time of Death: November 5, 2002 15:12 . Then, the flood of emotions overcomes me as I watch the family grieve. Is there anything else I could have done? Anything more I can do now? Check some more labs? Change his oxygen saturation? A bag of Potassium? A little more clonidine? The finality of death suddenly hits me! Time of Death: November 5, 2002 15:12.
*August 26, 2002*	*Answers* A grain of sand on my bare foot A drop of rain on my head I try to do what I should And not listen to what she said. A billowing cloud in the sky Covering a star-filled sea, A foamy surf, the ocean wave Crushing into the cliffs, set free, A thunderous roar on the cliffs, Breaking the silence of the night, Then in retreat with a hiss, For a moment controls its might.	Humidity against my face, A thin fog on the distant sea. I try to think with utmost grace Amidst the chaos around me. A dim light from a distant boat Flickers softly in the dark. The rain, now beating on my coat As if to the tune of an imagined lark. "What do I want? Why do I want it?" Should I stop, think, and take a breath? Or continue with a fast-paced but short life, And without answer one day face death?
*August 7, 2002*	"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" "Religion is an attempt to get control over the sensory world, in which we are placed, by means of the wish-world which we have developed inside us as a result of biological and psychological necessities." "The great question … which I have not been able to answer despite my 30 years in research into the feminine soul is, What does a woman want?" "The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing." *- Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)*.
*July 29, 2002*	The Lesson of the Five Balls: “...Life is a game in which you are juggling 5 balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls — family, health, friends and integrity — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life.” -James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas.
*July 17, 2002*	Capgras's Syndrome: Named after Jean Marie Joseph Capgras (1873-1950), a French psychiatrist. It is a delusionary disease that a close relative or friend has been replaced by an impostor, an exact double, despite recognition of familiarity in appearance and behavior. One theory suggests that this is due to damage of the emotional pathway of recognition, which is separate from the intellectual. Read more for yourself: John McCrone on Metacognition (Thanks Jacob)
*July 18, 2002*	Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness (DOMS): Soreness that usually appears later, approximately 12 hours after your workout. The symptoms usually peak between 24 to 48 hours and normally disappear within a few days. These symptoms of soreness and stiffness are a normal adaptation process, due to microscopic muscle tears, which will lead to greater strength once your muscles have recovered. That is why it is important that you should allow for adequate rest in your workout week. Many people believe that DOMS is caused by lactic acid, which builds in the muscles during exercise. This is a myth.
*July 9, 2002*	Tomorrow, finally the day we've been promised for 2 years now: We go across the street. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the future. Suddenly I find myself categorized in DSM IV. Was Freud this anxious too when he first started? The Id will take over for now.
*July 7, 2002*	Medical School: the process of getting in is a test of your persistence, and the actual process, a torture, until after two years in, you actually get to do what you wanted, to see and help patients.
*July 2, 2002*	You know you love somebody: When you can share the most dreadful news in the world with that person, and know that they will be supportive, understanding, considerate, and love you back even more than before you told them the news. There are very few people like that out there. When you find them, hold on to them and never let them go, regardless of the nature of the relationship.
*July 1, 2002*	Have you ever wondered how so many people live life without a long-term goal in mind, or even a care or worry about what tomorrow might bring. They just "take it one step at a time"! Sometimes, especially at moments like this, I wish I could be like that. Wishful thinking!